Saturday, August 29, 2009

Five Things You Should Know About Small Joint Manipulation!

By Al Case

When people watch Mixed Martial Arts, they see all the big knock outs and watch grown men being twisted into mat slapping pretzels. Amazing and potent stuff, but they are missing the boat. One of those little MMA rules that not many people pay attention to, you see, is No Small Joint Manipulation.

Now what the heck could be so frightening about small joint manipulations that the monsters of the MMA, with all their face smashing punches and limb wrenching prowess, could be afraid of them? I mean, couldn't you just beat the crap out of somebody who tries this Small Joint Manipulation thing? Shouldn't it be easy to handle somebody who is only attacking, like, your little finger?

One thing I discovered, at an early stage of my training, is that if you grab somebody by the fingers, and I would assume Small Joint Manipulation refers expressly to the fingers, the fight is over. If you manage to grab somebody by one of his digits and bend that finger back, they will go up on their toes, prance around and follow you, and even follow their little finger, should you throw that finger, say, off a cliff. Isn't that the most strangest thing?

Another thing you can do with fingers is twist them. Grab a couple of fingers and just turn them. The fingers will grind, the knuckles will grind, and Mr. Bad Guy will suddenly swirl around in front of you and you will be able to literally mop up the floor with him.

Another thing you can do with fingers, and I really love this one, is press sideways on them. Simply place a thumb on a joint, another finger on the tip of their finger, and press sideways, ninety degrees to the way the joint is meant to bend. Man, this is an instant finger cracker, and Mr. Mugger is suddenly going to be on his knees and crying.

Here's a most insidious and evil little manipulation, dig your fingernail into the base of the his fingernail. This is like sticking bamboo shoots right into his fingers, the pain is excruciating. Again, Mr. Bad guy will drop to his knees, right into the kneeling and praying position, and beg you to leg go.

My favorite small joint manipulation, however, is to catch the fist and compress the tip of a finger, any finger, towards the second joint of that finger. You are bending the finger more than it is meant to bend, and some fool Home Invader is going to be screaming for mercy. This is a hard one to get, but that makes it all the juicier when you do get it.

Fingers are small little piggies with immense squeal potential. Grab a finger or two and bend back, bend sideways, twist, bend too much, dig your nail into, and somebody is going down quick. Practice a few of these (gently) with a couple of your good friends, and you'll soon know why the big bad boys of the MMA are deathly afraid of a little True Art.

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